Window to the Soul
by QuinnJ
Summary: A rewrite, of that "apology" Hook gave Belle in 3x15.


**A/N: ****Since this is not the direction they have Hook going in (yet) ****one could view him as being slightly ooc here. However, he has the potential to be this. Yes, it is a challenge to make an apology for attempted murder (and general terrorization) sound believable, but my dear OUAT writers that does not mean you should write a mock apology instead. Either write an honest one, or not one at all.**

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Belle sat in the back room of the antique shop, categorizing all of the items present. When Rumpelstiltskin had left for Neverland it had become a thing to do to keep her preoccupied. Keep her from going crazy with worry. Now that they were back in Storybrooke once more, she had taken up that same habit again. Only this time, there was no hope that he might return to her.

There were enough objects here to keep her busy for a decade. Odd trinkets and ancient looking artifacts. Where and how Rumple had procured these things was beyond her. With every magical and non-magical item she thought up a story, of how it had ended up in her true love's possession. Stories were an escape for her, just a tiny little private world in which Rumple lived on. He always would. Live on in her heart.

A lazy and comfortable silence was surrounding her up until the familiar sound of the shop's bell rang noisily, which shook her out of her deep thoughts. Not many people stopped by these days. Not to buy anything. Not to visit her. So whenever that bell rang, she was never anything but surprised and curious.

Just as she rounded the corner into the store, she saw Emma and her parents walk in, but there was someone else with them. The pirate. What was he doing here? In Rumple's shop? He had quite the nerve to even step foot inside it. Quickly enough she pushed her animosity to the side; this was no time for all of that, especially since they had such grave expressions on their faces. Maybe they had news about the Witch. She hoped not another had been taken by one of those awful flying monkeys.

"Emma, Snow, hi..." she nodded to David with a kind smile, "what's going on?"

"Let's.. sit down first," Emma suggested.

Belle was starting to feel uneasy and a little worried. This must be very serious. She'd rather have them spit it out right away, but she complied nonetheless, taking them to the back room where she had been sitting moments ago. She closed the book she had left on the table and invited them to take a seat by gesturing towards the chairs behind them. Belle may not have acknowledged Hook so far, but she was well aware of his presence. And she was very aware of his whereabouts as he moved around the table to stand right across from where she was.

"We found something," Emma began.

On top of being confused, Belle was now also starting to feel a little bothered that they were obviously still not quite getting to the point. What did they find? Where did they find it and why was it important enough to tell her about it? Deciding it was best to simply listen to what they had to say than to attack them with a load of questions, she waited for her to continue.

Emma reached into her coat pocket and handed Belle a delicate piece of shiny straw. It was gold. Belle's heart skipped a beat. Gold. She inspected it closely. Does this mean? No, how could it? Did someone else spin this maybe? After she noticed how expectantly everyone was looking at her she found her voice again.

"This isn't...? Is this what I think it is?"

"It's straw, spun into gold," Emma let the words linger.

"But how can that be? Is he alive? Are we sure that... Rumple did this?"

Emma raised her eyebrows and slightly tilted her head as if to say 'who else do we know to make gold out of straw'.

"I.. I mean, what if someone else..." Belle fell silent. It was as if she was almost scared to feel hope again. Hope at the chance that Rumple might still be alive. She felt a lump form in her throat. "It's him isn't it?"

Emma nodded. "We think the Wicked Witch might have held him prisoner. We found _that_," she pointed at the golden straw in Belle's hand, "in an underground cellar. The lock was busted."

Belle's eyes widened. She knew all about being locked away from the world. No one who knows you're there. No one is coming to save you. One could be driven to despair to the point of no return. It pained her to think that Rumple would have had to endure such a thing.

"Where is he? How is he? Is he ok?"

"Well, we don't know. We haven't been able to find him yet. We were sort of hoping that you might be able to shed some light on it," David replied.

"Okay, I'm sure there must be something here that could lead us to him," she said. Her voice had a hint of cautious optimism in it.

Hook who had been standing by rather silently, only half listened to the conversation. The moment he had stepped foot through the door and caught sight of the look Belle gave him when she saw him, he felt an unfamiliar feeling. He couldn't quite place it, but the closest it came to was the feeling of nausea. There was a knot in his stomach and his heart felt extremely heavy under the gaze of the crocodile's brunette companion.

When Emma and Snow stood up to leave he felt this was his cue to speak up. "I think I should stay here..." everyone turned their confused stares right at him, "in case the Witch comes calling," he further explained. He could hardly face Belle, her expression was the most incredulous of all.

"Are you serious?" she blurted out.

Hook's eyes darted to Emma for support, but she was just as stunned as the rest of them. He looked back at Belle. "Aye..." his voice got quieter with each word he spoke, "I've quite a bit to make up for." Upon uttering those last few words, Hook's eyes finally met Belle's. As soon as they did though, Hook wanted to look away again, yet he held her gaze hoping she would see that he was being genuine.

Belle's emotions were ranging from disbelief, to anger, to curiosity, to bewilderment. The man who had beaten her, threatened her, shot her and made it so she lost her memories was offering to protect her. The very idea was so surreal, it was hard not to burst out laughing. She took a moment to study the emotions on his face, trying to decipher his true motives. Since she could not quite put her finger on it, she decided to trust her instincts instead.

"Yeah you sure do," she curtly replied. "I accept your offer, just don't get in my way." She hadn't meant to sound so harsh, but she simply didn't know what to make of it all and she really needed to focus on Rumpelstiltskin. She couldn't afford any distractions. If he was alive and in Storybrooke, she needed to find out where he was immediately.

"Alright then, we should get going, search the forest," Emma said. Snow and David followed their daughter out of the shop and there she was; left alone with the man who had caused her and Rumpelstiltskin nothing but grief. She shot him a contemptuous glare and went to the front of the shop to gather some of the books she thought might contain her answers.

"Belle..." Hook started, but she kept walking. Probably trying to get away from him as fast and far away as possible. His face fell. Why did he feel like this? This need to say something, anything, to make up for what he had done to her. He may not know much about her, but he knew what it was like to lose the one you love. He had seen her fall to the ground when Rumpelstiltskin died. The urge to comfort her hadn't been as overbearing then as it was right now. He wondered what had changed?

For the first few hours he sat in the back dejected and thinking his head off. Trying to figure out a way to make her see that he had changed, that he truly did regret his transgressions against her. He wondered why this need was so strong. Did he wish to be absolved? Forgiven? Was it all about him and his feelings? Perhaps that was part of it, but mostly he wished to make Belle feel that he was no longer a threat to her. She needn't feel fear or worried that he might harm her.

He stood up and ventured out into the front of the shop. He found her sitting behind the counter nearly hidden by a big pile of books in which she was reading fiercely and with great concentration. He cleared his throat, trying to catch her attention. "Belle.." he started again.

The brunette merely grabbed hold of a book at the top of the pile and handed it to him; all the while never looking up at him. "Could you put this back on the shelf for me and then bring me that large book with the red leather cover please, thank you."

Hook let out a sigh; she was not going to make it easy for him that much was clear. He took the book over to the bookcase at the wall across and searched for the one she had requested. It was a heavy old thing and he almost dropped it, without having the support of his other hand. He put his hook with the blunt part atop the cover and placed it on the counter in front of Belle. "Thank you," she said, meeting his eyes this time. "Would you please try that book over there, maybe there's something in there about the Dark One. Some information or.. explanation as to why and how he's managed to come back. The smallest clue could be useful," she reminded him.

"Sure, love."

Hook could see she wasn't in mood for conversation. So he waited. He'd help her find her answers and go through all these books with her. Though sooner or later the confrontation had to be dealt with. Not only that, but he felt he really shouldn't wait too much longer. It was never wise to leave important things unsaid. You never know when or _if_ you will get another chance at it.

So they sat in silence, both reading intently the words on the pages for a another few hours. Not being able to find much, Belle got frustrated and slammed her latest book shut with a great deal of force.

"Damn it! This isn't helping!" she exclaimed with an exasperated groan.

Hook was startled out of his task and closed his own book, much gentler than Belle had. "We'll find him, love." he said to her, suspecting that she may need some comfort and support right now. Her eyes remained focused on staring at her own hands, but she smiled ever so slightly in spite of herself. She had to admit, he was trying. Oddly enough.

She rested her elbows on the counter and her head on her hands. After a while she turned her head in Hook's direction. He was sitting to her left on the other side already looking back at her. He could see that there was a great deal she wanted to say to him in that moment. Getting up from his seat he moved over to stand in front of her. This was his chance. There would be no other chances after this one.

"Belle.. I'm sorry."

Here it was. The apology she never expected to receive. The apology she never hoped to receive. For it would mean she'd have to forgive him and Belle wasn't sure if she was ready for that just yet.

"Don't say that to me."

Was he even serious? He seemed to be. There were no traces of the arrogant flirtatious pirate to be seen. She only saw a man, trying to express his regrets.

Hook was surprised and confused and apparently it showed because she spoke up again.

"You don't really mean it, so why bother?"

"I do mean it love. If I could turn back time, I would change it, I would change all of it."

By the tone in his voice she gathered that he not only meant to change the events surrounding her and Rumpelstiltskin, but quite possibly many others as well.

"Why should I believe you?" she challenged him.

Hook didn't know what to say to that. He simply had no excuses. He had been so blind, so obsessed and determined to make the crocodile hurt that he hadn't spared so much as a second, thinking about what it might do to her. That not only Rumpelstiltskin would suffer, but this innocent and kind woman would too. How was she to know that that man no longer existed?

It was apparent Hook felt thrown. The conversation was not exactly going the way he had anticipated. He assumed she would release her anger, yell at him or perhaps even laugh at him. What he hadn't expected was to be confronted with all these questions. Questions he couldn't find the right words to formulate an answer for.

Belle had tried to stay polite and not lose her temper, but his silence was infuriating. Here he stood asking for forgiveness, yet he had not even the decency to answer her questions. She slammed her fist down and pushed her seat back to stand face to face with him.

"You shot me! You made me forget about Rumpelstiltskin! What did I ever do to you to deserve that?!"

Ah there it was, the anger.

A deafening silence fell when she stopped shouting. Her outburst was something he thought himself prepared for and yet now that he was receiving the full force of it, he still felt quite taken aback. Until now he never saw how much all this had affected her. She had kept to herself and she hid her true feelings behind a polite smile, creating the illusion that she was handling it.

"You're right, you didn't deserve it. I've no excuses for it. Words won't convince you, I know this, but if you'll allow me, I will show you, with actions that I have changed."

Belle crossed her arms and stared at the ground. He could see she was trying to fight back the tears.

"Belle," he took one of her hands in his own, "I'm sorry."

His eyes said it all. There was deep regret within them. Something Belle hadn't seen before today. She had once read that one could see into the soul through a person's eyes. Whether that was true or not she didn't know, what she did know was that honesty was present in those of the man standing opposite her now.

"I.. I need time," was all she said. She gave his hand a final squeeze, wordlessly conveying to him that she believed him, before breaking the contact. He smiled at her. That was all he could ask for, he knew that. This was enough for now.

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**Additional A/N: Yes yes I know I should be working on my other stories, sorry, but this just kinda wrote itself and I felt I needed to get it out of my system. Oh and for the record, I do love Hook, but sometimes not the way he is written.**


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